Category: Mental Health

Walking & going out more is my 2019 goal.

Hello everyone,

Hope you’re having a fabulous Monday! I am, I can happily say that 2019 so far has been really good, I would love to start getting out more. I need to stop letting anxiety and paranoia get in the way. Blogging has been my cushion.

I am pleased to announce that my podcast will be back from the 29 January at 5.00 PM. After binge watching Sex Education on Netflix with my cousin, I HAVE to talk about it!

Have you seen it?

Now, when new year comes along, you’ve got to make those resolutions. We’re coming to the end of January ALREADY! As if! I haven’t even started my New Years resolutions yet.

What about you? I want to start walking and getting out more. Anxiety has always stopped me from doing activities, and I don’t want it to hold me back anymore.

I was so happy when my article on Mental health foundation went live. Have you read it yet? If not you can click here.

Sorry about the short blog post today! I am hoping to get back to full-time blogging again soon!



This article is an old one that I pulled from my old blog, however, I wanted to add to it.

I have no problem with males I am gay so I need to enjoy the company of gentlemen, however, when it comes to talking to females they are much more understanding when it comes to my circumstances; they are able to give me an in-depth solution whenever I need it. I’ve always had a problem talking to males that include male professionals too I always have my guard up and that’s mainly because I was bullied throughout school most of the time by males. Girls would always be there to offer their support to me whenever I’m down. However all throughout Primary school and Secondary, I’ve always had female friends. But as soon as I started college I was able to get a male friend. Although I won’t go into full detail about what happened.

I’m able to talk confidentially to females than males, If I was to get a male on the phone I’d be anxious to talk to them, mainly because I feel as if they are not able to understand my circumstances.

I was on the phone to a male member of staff who was unable to help me with my problem; however afterwards I had phoned up and I was greeted by a lovely female member of staff who was able to help me with my persisting problem, she told me I was awesome and honestly that made me feel so much better. You feel as if males treat you differently because you are gay. (Some men are like this, not all).

I’m not sure If this is due to my past.

Females have such affectionate love, they are able to say I love you too much more better than males, (in-fact you wouldn’t say it would you to another male because that is considered gay.) I find that super annoying that other males can’t compliment their friends on how they look.

I believe females forgive and understand more than males do. I’ve fallen out with so many girls in the past, and that’s mainly been down to me being a total bitch, and that’s ok, I’m still a bitch now and will always be a bitch if you can’t handle that. See ya later!

Let me know if you have any preferences too, comment down below. 

Dear bus drivers!

If you haven’t listened to my recent Podcast Ladies like Armor plating, you can listen to it by clicking here.

Now, what is very annoying about getting on buses is Bus drivers driving before you’ve even sat down, now to me someone with Anxiety it’s horrendously breathtaking having to board a bus, you’re constantly thinking in your head what’ll happen? Will I fall? Will he drive when I’m not sat down?

It’s happened a couple of occasions when I’ve not sat down yet and the driver continues to drive and I’ve trod on someone’s foot and they were pretty annoyed at me.

Now, I understand that bus drivers need to make sure they are not causing any traffic, but please. Let me sit down! But to avoid this I normally sit at the front, but before a journey, I am always worrying if the front seat is taken or not. I also pray that someone else is getting on so they’ll let me board before them.

Suffering like this is horrendous because I can never really go out, I spend way too much money on Taxi fares because I refuse to board a bus.

Sorry, this post is short, however, let’s look forward to December! It’s the 1st on Saturday! Remember! My article about Emotional Dysregulation is being published on sometime in December or January! Let’s look forward to that!!

Remember my post schedule!

  • Monday – KPOP related
  • Tuesday – Podcast, Mentally Obsessed
  • Wednesday – Mental Health related, could be different

Peace out!



Living with Emotional dysregulation disorder can be super stressful at times, lately I’ve found it incredibly hard to deal with my emotions. Understanding how I feel sometimes makes the situation much worse, I could be sitting at home on my phone and some issue arises between friends and when those events occur my emotions can change dramatically.

Emotional Dysregulation disorder is diagnosed to people who find a situation to be worse than it is. I find whenever a situation occurs I can either feel super suicidal, super low, anxious or angry. Someone who hasn’t been diagnosed with emotional dysregulation disorder might not find it as stressful or saddening as someone who has been diagnosed with emotional dysregulation.

You could basically compare emotional dysregulation disorder to bipolar disorder, but it’s not the same. I understand that the symptoms of emotional dysregulation disorder can be like bipolar disorder.

I am not a doctor or someone who is trained in Mental health, I am only talking on experience.

I was recently diagnosed with Emotional Dysregulation disorder and I’m currently in the process of getting treatment, I’ve been feeling super low since December of last year, so it’s been taking awhile to get the right treatment, so while I’ve been waiting for treatment to begin I’ve been looking at coping mechanisms to help me overcome my relapses.

I was prescribed with Promazine and Ariprizole. The medication I take makes me extremely tired, but It does help me with keeping my anxiety and suicidal thoughts at bay.

Not many people are aware of what emotional dysregulation disorder is and that’s ok, but more people have it then you think.

I want to talk more about my emotions, I want to give some examples of situations that may make me frustrated, angry or suicidal. I sometimes have some problems with money, I am currently in the process of getting assessed by Universal credit to see if I am fit or unfit for work. Now, when I check my bank account and I see my bank is looking very dry that makes me feel incredibly sad and that makes me feel upset, I feel sorry for myself and it takes me a while to get out of these feelings. I’ve found it super easy to recover from emotions by listening to K-POP, maybe you should find your favorite music, it might help your emotions.

Emotional Dysregulation disorder to me feels as if my emotions are stuck on a chart and won’t come down unless I use my coping mechanisms to help.

Now I am not sure if my medication will be changed to help eradicate my disorder, I know that I need to have treatment to help to regulate my mental state.

Sometimes these coping mechanisms don’t help, hence why I am looking for treatment or I rely on medication to help control my emotions and my suicidal thoughts. I find it helps eating whenever I am feeling super stressed, upset or angry, I’ve always been someone who eats to help suppress my emotions or to help make me feel good about myself, but eating food will then open a new can of worms, because I’ll look in the mirror and see that I’ve gained a lot of weight, that’d also make me feel worthless.

Paranoia is another thing I’d like to touch on, I’m not quite sure If paranoia links with emotional dysregulation disorder. However, I’ve found that I’d get paranoid about people disliking me for no reason, this might even be friends or family. No matter how many times someone tells me they don’t dislike me I still have a feeling that they’re lying, and they put up with me anyway. Paranoia unhealthy controls my life sometimes, it makes me worry constantly about different situations. In the past, I’ve been paranoid about work colleagues slyly talking about me behind my back, in that situation it made me drink excessively. It run my life for a good few months after I got rid of that negativity and quit that job. I’m not sure how I could’ve avoided these feelings, but maybe when I start treatment I can investigate paranoia and how I can solve it.

I found getting rid of negativity in my life has helped with my emotions. Getting rid of negativity will help your emotions dramatically. Maybe it’s a friend or a situation that isn’t helping with your emotions? Try and get rid of them, your mental health matters remember!

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